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Not quite ready to share the news……..

Since it is just 72 degrees right now, the dog, the cat and I are able to post from the back porch once again. Although I am not too anxious for the cold weather to come our way, sitting out here is something that really does me good. It is a real blessing to be here tonight.

Tomorrow Amanda leaves for a business trip so I will get to be the focus of most of Ben’s attention. The picture, I know, looks like I just told him, but I have not yet. He does not like it when his mom leaves so it is best to put that news off till it has to be shared. In fact, the picture is just after me expressing my concern that he needed to eat his macaroni BEFORE getting a cookie. The blanket is from one of his stalls (he couldn’t eat his macaroni because he was “cold,” which I fixed) but of course if there was a cookie, there would be no stall and temperature would not matter.
But really, who cares? He ate, he did not freeze to death in the middle of summer, he got his cookie, and I am able to sit out on the back porch……everyone is satisfied. And to me, that is the end to a perfect day!
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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Musician extraordinaire……..

Although our very talented Director of Music resigned a few weeks ago to pursue her doctorate, I was very fortunate to have a talented music who was willing (meaning forced) to step in.

My son Scotty is an amazing musician. He started on the trumpet and endured lessons on piano, drums, and guitar…..all of which he protested greatly. He was never a good music student, except at school where they loved him. And it was not that he was not loved here. It was just not his “cup of tea” as they say to head to a lesson once a week.
His former piano teacher, Marsha Dragoo, is a parishioner at St. Patrick’s where Scotty now plays. I described him as her very worst student, to which she protested vehemently. But even Scott would beg to differ. His 15 second (including the walk up to the piano) recital rendition of “Penguin Blues” is still on video. He played it with one finger and got off the stage as soon as he could. He just was not very good with the lessons and structure.
But left on his own, he has become a remarkable musician. He plays, he writes, and he has one week in as the musician at St. Patrick’s, a position he will share every other week with another talented musician, Skip Beyer. Scotty just sits and plays. He loves music and it comes naturally. It is a real blessing to the congregation at St. Patrick’s and a real blessing to our entire ministry as well. And we have him for a year, as long as he doesn’t flunk out…..if he does, we have him longer.
As a guy who LOVES music, nothing could be a bigger blessing than having children who play. Steph is an amazing guitarist, but she now lives in Missouri. (Steph, on a challenge at around 10 years old learned to play “Canon in D” so I would take them to Disneyworld. I thought I was safe, but Florida was worth it) Scott will probably have a career/vocation that involves music, so it is a blessing to have him play. Ben sings and plays every instrument and all of them poorly. We just thank God his bedtime is as early as it is.
But on this night I am thankful for Scott and the answering of this call to ministry. I am certain it will not be his first. A guy like this is one whom the Lord will use. And as for me, I am blessed that He has decided to use him playing with us here at St. Patrick’s!
Goodnight my friends and God Bless.
Tommy+
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What I’ve got I want no cure for……….

When I am away from home for a few days there is always some catching up I need to do, and today was no exception. I already had a list of things that I was to work on today, but by the time I was thinking about it I had already accomplished all the things I had forgotten that should have been on that list anyway. So this is to say I am looking at this list now for tomorrow!

But in all honesty, I get distracted and get distracted easily. When I was a kid they didn’t talk about things like ADD, but had they, I am certain I would have been their poster child. And sure, I suppose I could pay all that money to be tested (and for Scott and Ben too) but what an unbelievable waste of resources that would be. I can accomplish a lot already despite the distractions, and really being that focused would mean too much work……..I mean it would stifle my creativity.
So when I was working and saw Ben flat on the floor underneath the kitchen table I was truly intrigued. Not that I didn’t want to work anymore, but I was utterly fascinated at why anyone would camp out there other than on the couch (davenport where I grew up). So because I was so busy and so focused I got down there myself to see what all the rage was, and honestly I found it pretty pleasant. Ben was excited to see me too and as you can see, he posed for a few pictures.
So my catching up is postponed and I will spend the next hour or so trying to remember what I was going to do. And hopefully by then I will be too tired to do it.
Thank you Lord that I am not overly focused! Tonight I thank you for that ADD, the FBI, the CIA, NRA, NHL, NFL, MLB, my DOG and my BED. I will head there right after I wake up my SON on the kitchen floor.
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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I am tired……I am Batman!

As I pulled into the house tonight after driving just under 1000 miles within the last 48 hours (including moving Steph into her dorm yesterday and some meetings out of town today) my mind drifted to the reality that I spend an awful lot of time in my car. Not the kind of time the Bishop does who travels just over 400 days in every calendar year (yes, that’s a joke……everyone knows that he travels a lot more than that) but I indeed drive a lot.

So tonight I was thinking about what kind of car I want next and why. I currently drive a 2003 VW Passat, which is a comfortable car that gets pretty good gas mileage. But the Passat, though it has some nice features, is really missing a few important things I would like to have in a car.
1) The first is a bed. Though I am a good driver and a cautious and responsible driver, a bed would be a great feature. I would save on hotels and be much more alert at meetings.
2) A driver. Obviously if I am going to sleep in the car it would be best if I did so when not doing something important…..like driving. It is all about productivity with me, and having a driver would also stimulate the economy.
3) A cool style (like the Batmobile) As Rick Warren says, it’s not about you, and having a Batmobile would not be about me at all. It would attract a lot of attention which would allow me to talk to people about what life IS about. I have not yet worked this all out, but superhero evangelism may be just what we need to attract those elusive 18-34 stereotypical males to church.
4) A great Internet and phone set up. Anyone that drives at all will tell you the best way to lose a phone signal is to just have the feeling you want to make a call, you don’t even have to make it. But it is so 1990’s to not be fully wired!
And finally, but not a feature of the car, 5) a wife that will agree that all of this is a great idea. But I am really doubtful of my chances……..she hasn’t even opened that Robin costume I bought her two years ago on our anniversary.
Oh well……the VW is really not all that bad.
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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Girls go to college to get more knowledge, but boys go to Jupiter to get more HD channels on cable……

Oh yes, it is true. Boys are much smarter than girls. After all the girls willingly marry us. (The prosecution rests)

But the big news of the day is that Stephanie now is living in Missouri at Lindenwood University. She has a great roommate, a lot of wonderful young women on her floor, and the opportunity to make of herself all that God has called her to make.
And I am certain she will do just fine. She is unpacked, and has all that she needs. And no, it is well past midnight now here at home and I haven’t heard from her. I am taking that as a good thing.
It was just such a busy time and day. Amanda was and is not feeling well, and Ben was a real trooper. He told us on the way home that he now wants to go live in Missouri too, “with Stephy.” And to get there we need to drive over the “Mr. Sippy Wiver.” I think he will need some time before he goes. Steph, on the other hand, knew it was “river.”
So now I just see what happens. I am sure it is going to be great for her though. I am just thankful she is finally there and thankful we are now at home. It’s time for bed too. Ten hours of driving, two Wal-Mart trips, and a list of things to mail tomorrow have worn me out!
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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The wake…….and the family dinner just prior…..

I grew up in an area where they still held wakes. Wakes, for those of you who are not familiar, are at least in my experience, parties where people gathered to celebrate the life of the deceased. They were generally a lot of fun, something I was often sure the deceased would have enjoyed, and really a great tradition because it really focused upon the joyful experience of the deceased that all of us shared.

Tonight there is a small gathering going on downstairs, but as I saw as I came upstairs to write, no one downstairs is quite dead yet. The familiar laughter fills my ears, yet as the people leave I anticipate hearing the pain of shedding tears. It is all a part of life I suppose, yet I know it is hard on them all. It is something I wish I could take away, but in a way it is a right of passage we all cross on our way to adulthood.
It is a stark contrast to our family dinner that just preceded it. Sure there was the tensions of separation, but as family we always find ourselves back together. The dynamic never really changes that much and we accept changes with an ease that makes it tolerable. We will gather again, just we have in the past and just like tonight, all through our lives. There is a certainty in that we don’t just rely upon but believe will continue to take place. The certainty of that in young people has not the foundation of a family. Their anxiety is real, because in truth, it is based upon their hope.
Of course my hope too is that they will continue on exactly the same because I love it as it is now, but I know it will really never be the same. Each of their worlds is expanding, and what they now worry about letting go of will soon be assuaged by the reality that these very same worlds are not being dismantled but enriched as they move ahead. And though it may be a rough night, excitement and maturity replaces anxiety in the end.
Tomorrow morning we will pack up and leave, and I will have a few hours to prepare for my transition…….my wake of sorts I suppose. I have become convinced that all this is why God gives grandchildren. After all, it’s gonna need to be pretty dang good to get me to pull out of that parking lot in Missouri tomorrow!
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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Dinner with part of a thinning herd……

Although we have had dinner lots of times at our house, tonight it seemed different. Some of the girls have already left for college, yet all are on their way somewhere. And tonight we had a few of the remaining ones over for Steph’s last home-cooked meal before she leaves.

Of course the whole idea of such a thing reminded me of what they do before an execution, which made me a bit uncomfortable. Of all of them, I am probably the closest to feeling that way, but I understand. I know this is an exciting time, and in truth it excites even me. I just am not a fan of the drama…..and apparently it exists mostly in my own heart!
But part of it also deals with the bigger picture. This group of girls is a great bunch. I know it is hard for them all to begin to transition apart, but for all us parents comes the reality that it will never be the same again. It is doubtful they will all be together as they have been before again.
Of course as a coach, I deal with these same feelings at some level each year. But this year these are girls I have come to know almost as pseudo-daughters! Fortunately for me a few of them will still be here in Indiana for me to say hi to, or buy lunch for when I am by them. For the others, they will have to find me next summer or on breaks.
In truth, we have a group of parents that I am certain could write these very same words, and who probably see Steph as one of their own as well. It is hard for all of us. But I thank God they are there for her and the others in their lives.
The herd may be thinning, but our love for them stays strong. Tomorrow is the outing with our family and then it is off to Missouri. Hopefully some of the girls still here will check in on us!
They are all pretty special.
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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Entering my walk to transition……..

Yep, it’s Sunday night…….just three more nights with us, and on Wednesday morning we will make our way to Missouri to drop her off.

My sermon today was about seeing the signs and knowing what was on the horizon. The dealings of my life were able to be a pretty good example, in that I have been preparing for this week all my life.
But as I said, life is a journey. The race is not a sprint, but it is meant to be run with endurance and finished. I will not just drop Steph (I still see her as Stephy) at college this week, but in all honesty I will survive it too. It is a strange combination of pain and pride. I hate to let her go, but I know she must. And clearly she is all broken up about it as well, seeing as after church she went to the Colts’ game and is now at the John Mayer concert. (I do not know much about him, though I do know he is a singer. I am more of a fan, and familiar with his family’s hot dogs).
So tonight is the last hurrah with her friends. Tomorrow we will enjoy a home cooked family meal (her choice of course) and then Tuesday we will have dinner with my dad and family out.
It is a week for which I am ready, and one for which I am proud.
Kids grow up so fast. I am just thankful for the time we have had, and look forward to how it is changing as we walk together through this week.
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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Lessons from Kroger……..

Heading to the Kroger with Ben is often an adventure, but never a dull one for sure. We made stops at St. Patrick’s and the post office before arriving there, and yes, in our heavy-duty Ironman rain boots. (and yes once again, they were on the wrong feet)

I suppose it would attract a lot less attention if he wanted to ride in a cart, even the ones that are little cars attached to the cart (they are never available). But he insists he wants to “run like maniac,” so that’s what I let him do. I am sure people just mistake us for brothers as we chase each other up and down the aisles and laugh. But it is just one of our “things” together, and one we both enjoy very much.
Of course it often leads to him in the middle of a busy aisle stopping and saying (loudly), “Hey daddy, I tooted!” In retrospect, I suppose I never should have laughed at it that first time, because as a parent I have found the following 500 times not nearly as amusing. But for him it just seems to get better and good for him.
In truth, I am really quite envious of him. As adults we carry a lot around on our shoulders……responsibilities, burdens, thoughts, memories, etc. Even when we do not perceive it, we are carrying something.
Children on the other hand, do not bear that weight. Ben’s world is full of discovery and joy, from carrying (poorly) a big jar of pickles, to cracking up the locals at the Kroger. He often teaches me that God’s blessings abound, even when you are not actively looking for them.
Anyway, we are now safe at home, having a ball and away from the judgement of the other shoppers. If they only knew what we know. Thanks to Ben for making it fun. And thanks be to God that we can do it again tomorrow!
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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Too cool for school……

Yeah, it’s too bad that’s not true, but no Tirman has ever found his or herself without the need of skool……okay, that was a joke, everyone noes it’s sckool. But honestly, I have to say I have a deep appreciation for the places I was a student and for many of the people who taught me.

Teachers are so very important in this life and I have been so very fortunate to have some good ones. Most have been inside the buildings in which I have attended classes, others I have met in life. All however, have contributed to making me the person who I am.
Of course some people are probably not too impressed with that, like high school and college girlfriends, some Episcopal bishops, the State of Kentucky, and the country of Liechtenstein (with which I have signed a confidentiality agreement). But as long as my grandma loves me I figure I am on the right track (she is from Urbana, Ohio and not a native Liechtensteinian)
So on this day I thank God for those people who led me in my life. I have had some good ones that’s for sure! And many of them, of course, continue to teach me too.
Tirmans, though they tend to turn our alright, are always (I was going to say “often” instead of “always”, but it is breaking a Commandment to lie) a challenge to teach, but in the end are model (not to mean good looking, but it certainly could) students. And at 49, I continue to learn.
So off to find Amanda now here in the house and learn what I am doing wrong!
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+