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It is what it is…….

In my life I have come to a deep understanding of the concept that “it is what it is.” I had a doctor appointment today, one of three this month, and I filled out the update form on my medical history. At 49, with a stroke, a load of orthopedic surgeries, two sisters in heaven ahead of me, and a severely diabetic mom with Alzheimer’s i a nursing home, I felt like I was checking every box. (I didn’t check two. I have not had a hysterectomy and I am not pregnant….that I know of.)

I used to get pretty frustrated by all that, but not anymore……..because it is what it is. You know, I have had to deal with a lot in this life, but focusing or obsessing on it doesn’t change a thing. If you ask me, I have it pretty good. I still get to live this life and intend to live it well.
Sure, it would be nice to live it with a buff body (meaning mine) and a brain at 100%. But in all honesty, I am still in pretty good shape for middle age, and as for my brain, well we have become friends! It may not work like it used to, but where one area falters another picks up. I really have learned my blind spots, and the relearning and adapting has opened up for me a life I could not have imagined. My mind whirls and whirls now, but it too is what it is. I have come to enjoy riding its wave, and it truly has opened up a whole new world to me. I am a better man, a better father, and a better priest for what I used to believe to be a tragedy.
Anyway, I will check every box but two again soon, and it is what it is, but isn’t it grand? No, it’s not a delusion, it’s just a fact. God has blessed me with so much and He continues to give me wonderful opportunities. I am in for the long haul too. Too many people focus on the negative, and I could too. That however, would blind me from the truth.
This life is what it is, and it is meant to be lived! I am living it, are you? My hope and prayer is that you are. We can’t change things we have no control over, we can only change ourselves.
I love my life, and I intend to keep at it.
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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Lacrosse (or goofball) memories……..


I posted on my Facebook account on Monday that Father Irish and I, because the Internet was not usable at our hotel, headed to his favorite hangout…..Panera. There we could have lunch AND Internet and hopefully be able to finish up our work.

Oddly enough though, this Panera had been one that I had stopped at for lunch with a group of girls from my lacrosse team last summer. These were top-notch lacrosse players, who although just off our very first and only appearance in the Final Four, still chose to head to a Division 1 camp at Ohio State to further develop their skills. I was impressed with their dedication and intensity….right up until we got into the van to head there.
These girls love music, although I am not sure that’s what I would call it. They had a CD of tunes from as early as my day, and all of them were ones I would never listen too, even at gunpoint. They also talked, and almost exclusively about boys, which of course as a dad is never a good conversation to overhear. And then the cell phone prank calls and the singing of show tunes made me wonder why they were all girls that guys wanted to date.
But in truth, I know……they are great girls! One of the things I love about my team is the personalities of the players. Yep, they can be irreverent, and they will laugh always more than they cry. But in the end, they know what they are about. We may not win every game, but it is not for lack of effort or determination. They get things done, and often I think their apparent irreverence disarms opponents who think they are not serious. That is a serious mistake.
So as a core group of the number 4 team in Indiana arrived at that Panera last summer it was hard to tell who they were. They ate, they laughed, they played and then they constructed the famous (or infamous) “pyramid of death” out in front of the Panera in front of all the patrons and in clear sight of all the traffic on the busy street. It was awesome and these pictures prove it.
Within an hour they all checked into the camp and survived the week. And, the trip home was as screwy as the trip there. But a few of those girls in the picture were leaders of team that is now no more, and those leaders have left for college. But the rest remain….well trained and capable of leading us on. Sure, they are just as irreverent and screwy. But when game time comes the smiles are set aside and the intensity kicks up. These girls obviously suck at gymnastics (and group singing) but they are some of the finest players I know. I am blessed to be their coach.
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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I can fix that…..

I was able to return home from Columbus today. We stayed at the Comfort Suites in Columbus on Keim Circle….a hotel I had stayed at before in January on my return from South Carolina to Indiana. That time it was good, this time it was bad.

I spent a good piece of time on my way home with the people at Choice Hotels. They were very gracious and concerned, and promised to address the issue. The night at the hotel was paid for with points from prior stays. I hate to think we were treated any less for using points for our rooms, but it sure seemed that way. My issues were valid, and though I did not ask to have the points reimbursed, Choice Hotels did. They are a good company and that was just good business. My concern was that others need not be treated the way we were, nor be subject to the condition of the rooms we were. Those issues too will be addressed.
I used to travel frequently, but I now travel even more. I switched to Choice Hotels because I liked them, but was not dissatisfied with Holiday Inn or Marriott at all. And although I will NEVER stay at the hotel I stayed at last night again (I sent pictures to Choice Hotels for them to investigate) I will stay at other ones again.
Hotels are expensive, but necessary in my vocation. But hospitality is a Christian concept. If people cannot treat others with simple dignity and provide the agreed contract we pay for, then something needs to change. I am confident it will after talking to the people this afternoon.
I am just thankful I am home. These things will be fixed, but little Ben was waiting in what you see in the picture to fix the frustrations I experienced this trip on the road. Thank God for him!
Goodnight my friends and God Bless.
Tommy+
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On a historic journey……

A couple of times a year I get together to review my life and ministry with Father Kelly Irish, and tonight is one of those nights. Tonight we are in Columbus, Ohio, where Columbus himself landed and claimed for the French in 1977.

It is always a great and productive time to get together. We have been doing this for many years, the last time was in Dallas earlier this year. (Dallas was settled a bit earlier than Columbus, by the famous Randolph Scott, although it is often credited to Roger Staubach because those Texans love their football….but I digress)
Kelly and I however get together and go over things because it is important. We ask each other the tough questions and speak with complete honesty with each other. Sure, the glaring fact that I am a life-long Cubs fan and he is a life-long Cleveland Indians fan show a propensity to poor decisions, but it is all about balance. Our ministries are pretty good, because we take care of them and ourselves. The only thing that has really changed is that we are no longer the young men that used to meet.
Anyway, I am glad to be in Columbus for yet another review. The next one I think is going to be in Montana, which of course was settled by the Cyrus family in the 1980’s.
Keep me in your prayers. We are getting ready to review my grasp of history.
Goodnight my friends and God Bless.
Tommy+
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The Standoff……….

Although we are no longer in our “terrible twos” we are in our “stubborn as all get out” threes, and tonight he was testing my patience. We sat at the table for a long time, me eating what I had fixed and him refusing to do so. It was just noodles and rice, both of which he likes, but he was having none of it, saying things like there were ladybugs and dirt in the noodles.

And unfortunately, those were the ONLY times he was opening his mouth. I did consider force-feeding him, but I decided to wait him out. After all, I am 49 and full of patience, whereas he is just three and would certainly bow to my will.
SO……after he wore me out, I cleared the table and saw him head up to bed with his mom. Oh yes, he was smiling. That little rat wins a lot, and I know that they both would throw me under the bus for each other! But I am comfortable with that, and honestly would not want it any other way. It really cracks me up how they are together. He insisted tonight that he didn’t need noodles, but a hug and kiss from mommy. They are secure with each other, but sooner or later he will want to be fed!
So tonight as they are upstairs having their little escape from noodles bash, I am downstairs enjoying a glass of wine. Scotty will be home soon and probably eat those noodles.
You see sooner or later they come around. And when Ben is 17, I will be sitting her waiting for him!
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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It starts…..

Today the first (combo) letter of interest came to Scott about college. What I mean by “combo” is that it was not one of the generic pieces of mail he receives from colleges (there are many) because he is a senior who has gone to a college fair……this was one from a lacrosse coach who is looking for both a student AND a goalie and wanted to get on Scotty’s radar.

Of course I told him that St. Mary’s was an all women’s college, to which he said, “cool, I will be the only guy then, right? No no no, that’s a joke. But I did tell him that he should expect these over the next school year and to keep a level head about it. I am sure he will…..after all he is a Tirman.
But it was great to hear the excitement in his voice and see it in his eyes too. Seeing it all happen to his sister before him has made him hungry for it, and this summer he got a lot of exposure at two very high profile camps. He still has the SAT’s before him on October 9th and the rest of his senior year, but it is a great way to kick it off and keep him focused on the future.
So it has started, and we are excited for him. He works hard to be a good athlete and student. He now has some incentive to kick both areas up a notch and see where it leads.
These are exciting times.
Goodnight my friends and God Bless.
Tommy+
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Technologically challenged…….

I had a conversation today about technology, and I found it very interesting. You see, I have a new phone, a new phone that I barely know how to answer. I got it because I needed to be able to SEE my screen better, but I had always used a Blackberry, and you really can’t enlarge the screens easily with those. But I was GOOD with my Blackberry and now I have to learn something NEW. It is a BIG learning curve that I just can’t seem to figure out.

But what was funny was the fact that I now blog every day. I blog, have a Facebook account, text, use a computer for emails and work and a schedule (that is also supposedly on my phone) and can probably be tracked more easily than my dog who is chipped and moves basically from his bed to the food and back to bed again.
I write my sermons and do research on a computer. I can tell you what I said ten years ago because it is in a file on my computer. Yet even in grad school I didn’t have a computer because NO ONE DID. And do you know what? Oddly enough, we got by.
I grew up in a world without answering machines, where when we said we would dial the phone we meant it, and where the phones were big, heavy and corded. Mail meant the postman, and we really did think it was pretty fast. I could fix my car without paying someone to plug it into some diagnostic thingy, and people would not complain if it took them a day or two to get a hold of you. (Of course now they complain if they can’t reach you in 5 minutes)
I was thinking though, what did I do with all the time I had that I now fill up with technology? And why, if this is all supposed to be helpful, efficient, and convenient do I feel more stressed today than I was then? I mean, geeez…..I was okay with a couple of 8track tapes back in the 70’s, why do I need something that holds 7 million songs that I can’t find a song I want to listen to on?
I think tomorrow I will find the book that came with my phone and read it. Of course I probably will not understand enough about it to make a difference, but at least it is a step in the right direction. After all, I cannot grow into a crotchety old man if I do not have at least a little base of knowledge that I can misunderstand.
It is just hard working to become that parent that can be a burden to his children as he grows old. I’m just not doing it well at all. Maybe I should check and see if there’s a App for that!
Goodnight my friends and God bless.
Tommy+
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Da leak, da pipe, da Foreman…..

Yep, finally the work was done…..St. Patrick’s had a new line run from the water meter to the church. The leak is fixed, the inconvenience is over, and the boy had a great time looking at the Bobcat doing the work. He didn’t want to leave at all, and made it pretty difficult, but his mom called and was not feeling well at work, so the bossy little construction guy needed to get into the car and go get his mommy. (Ben the Builder…..no he can’t! He has to help mommy!)

But on the way home I drove back through to make sure everything was locked up. The water is on, but not running (which is a change) AND the side yard, which is what they dug up, looks like my yard at home ON STEROIDS! It is as if a mole from a nuclear site has made its way from the street to the back of the Church. In time I am told it will settle, but for now we are praying for snow so we can sled! It is huge! And if it gets any bigger by the morning I will know that stupid mole has moved! But of course, it is a small price to pay for bathrooms!
So Ben got to see a Bobcat, Amanda got to go to bed, and I have had another chaotic but productive day. Tomorrow I hope to be bored out of my mind. Who cares about production when your head is spinning?
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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A defiant dive into the secret stash…..

The call just came in……she is on the plane in Memphis (via Montgomery) and will be landing at 9:30. It is just 8 here now, and there is no way at all she can stop me from letting Ben eat her ice cream. It would be a violation of Federal Law to get off that plane, PLUS it is her quickest route back.

But in all honesty, Ben deserves it. He has been a real trooper and even ate all his dinner. He sang with me tonight one of my favorite songs “C is for cookie and that’s good enough for me,” which I sing well and change the letter and subject. He tries to stay on pitch, changes the letter, but all letters appear to be about “cookie.” Apparently that’s good enough for him.
But the blessing is we will leave for the airport just as soon as I get out of the shower and run through the “tunnel” (the moving walkway) about 100 times before the plane lands. It is always a hoot, and to be honest it is so much less embarrassing to have Ben do it rather than Scott or Steph.
So it’s to the shower I go. I am not a big fan of ice cream so I will not need a chocolate removal for myself……I do not think the boy is going to be that fortunate.
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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Of backs, bells, and bed…….

Great……my back is out (which happens occasionally) and Amanda is on a business trip. I have two problem areas of my back, one the result of an accident in college, the other the result of a sports injury. Unfortunately, both involved alcohol, which seemed pretty cool then, but which has resulted in a lifelong reminder about foolish behavior when you drink.

Of course Ben accompanied Amanda and I to the airport to drop her off, and no, Ben is not the result of foolish drinking behavior, but the result of our marriage, though looking at his behavior at times I wonder if he drinks. He is just three though, and I am doubtful that anyone would give him alcohol, even at college.
BUT, to look at him in the airport you would wonder what is wrong with him…….after all it is 85 degrees and he insists upon wearing his Ironman boots. But I was sure at the airport patrons were not as confused by him as they were by Amanda. After all, Amanda was the one walking with this strange little child being followed by a guy walking like Quasimodo with a suitcase. They must have thought she was one of the Sisters of Charity.
But the good news is that she is in Atlanta and Ben and I somehow managed to get home. He is watching Spout while I type, and as soon as I am done I can try to corral him to bed.
Of course first, I have to ring the bells.
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommymodo+