Yes, a married Catholic priest, but he used to be an Episcopal priest, and I know that as I preached the sermon at his ordination many a year ago, but in truth when I first met him he was actually “Baptist,” or so that is what at least his family thought.  And everyone expected him to enter into the Baptist ministry, that is but Rick and soon me.

You see Father Rick is from Barberton, Ohio and when I served the Church there (when I was MUCH younger) I celebrated two services each Sunday among all of my other duties.  The second service was more of a family service that included music and a choir, but the 8 am service had no music, and was a blast, but far more traditional and “quiet” than that later service.  And the same people had been going to 8 o’clock for years, some 30 or more, and they didn’t even know the people at the later service.  It was far from stuffy, and was perhaps more like that with which I was familiar, but I was in my 30’s and was easily the youngest there by far, that is until Rick started showing up.  Heck I could tell you some time ago how old he was, but at my age now I would guess him to either be about 7 or in his late teens….I will put my money on the latter.  But he came and was a part, and then he left, and he kind of stuck out……that is until I finally said, “Rick, I don’t get it?  What are you doing coming to the 8?”

Now I can share this because it was far from a Confession, but Rick felt a call to the priesthood but was so far into the Baptist thing that he was sneaking over at 8 to be with one of my all time favorite acolytes Gib Radanof and me, and then heading to the 10 am service at the Baptist Church so no one would suspect a thing.  It was about as close as you can get to heresy for a Baptist, and it put a big smile upon my face.

I won’t bore you with the details, but I did try to warn him, yet we finally saw him leaving his Baptist roots and head to seminary in New York for his Masters.  We had become good friends, and he was a mainstay in my ministry in my very first (8 year long) charge.  My style suited him well, and with Fr. Bill and I not really threatened by a thing, we had him trying all that he could.  And Rick didn’t just excel, he exceeded.  He left for seminary and came out with not just a degree, but a wife and she is every bit as impressive as him.

All the while we kept in touch.  He took a parish in London, Ohio and went about as long as he could before the theology of the Episcopal Church became more than incongruent with their beliefs.  And whereas I “retired” and transferred into another Anglican jurisdiction, Rick and Kathi renounced their Orders and moved towards the Roman Catholic Church where they have thrived!

I always looked at Rick with great admiration.  He was and is brilliant, and even though I would ALWAYS offer to help him with anything he was doing, it was always like Charlie Brown offering advice to Nolan Ryan as to how to pitch.  He is a pretty spectacular theologian and teacher.  He took a position with the Archdiocese of Washington and has taught all over the world.  And he entered the Anglican Ordinariate which I wrote about some time ago, and was ordained first a deacon and soon after a priest…..a Roman Catholic priest with a beautiful wife and three children that he better hope to heck don’t have his brain…..they will eat him alive!!

Rick advises me now, and to be honest I enjoy it.  Heck there is not a lot I can offer to him as not only have a stroke damaged brain, but I attended seminary on a football scholarship.  But I did drive out to the Shrine of the Immaculate Inception to see him ordained a deacon by Cardinal Wuerl since I was going to be unavailable for his priesting.  It was a true blessing for me to be there, but I have been more blessed to walk with him as my brother.  He is like having a bright, tall, and handsome brother, but one who is not nearly as funny or handsome.  But he does that trophy husband thing pretty well, and has three great kids, and doesn’t forget who he is or where he came from.  He keeps it real, despite working in extraordinary circumstances.

I have learned a lot from him over the years and I am blessed by his presence in my life.  I do wish he lived closer.  He called yesterday, and I will try and get back to him Monday as I KNOW that he has a family that he likes to be around.  I will catch him when they are in school.

But if you ever get around to Washington DC, or you ever move there, know that HE would be MY priest if I lived there.  I have known many people “called” to priesthood in my life, but in him I truly see it, and I always have.  And I just thank God that Rick figured it all out!

And in a true reflection of our friendship, let me say this……I hope I got this all correct, as his handwriting was pretty hard to read!  I love you my brother and I am proud of you!  You are a blessing to me, and to many others!

The picture is one I found and scanned and must be pretty old as I am wearing a bad collar and I haven’t worn one of those for many years.  But it is still us…..in all our glory.

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

With all the technology I am surrounded with, you would have thought that I could remember to post on this blog everyday, or at least have something electronic “ping” me and tell me to post.  Of course that would require remembering to find some sort of electronic reminder and set it up, so I hope you are getting, or catching, my drift (I have no idea what that really means or where it comes from, I just know it is appropriate to say here.)

But tonight then becomes a good night to kick this off, particularly as my last post was about my 24th year anniversary as a priest. (yes, it was MONDAY)  But I have thought about doing a “series” of posts on priests who particularly have had an influence upon me, and when I say that I do not mean those about whom books are written, but instead guys who I have walked with who have shaped me and “helped” to form me.  (I use the term helped loosely as these guys would all probably confess that I was really a helpless cause)  But nonetheless, I will here sully their reputations as they at one time or another walked with me in my ministry, and some still do.

Now the reason why this first guy is appropriate on a day that I am complaining and confused about technology, is because he was clearly the least technological priest I have ever known, Father Bill Knapp.  His picture was sent to me by his daughter Liz, and it made me laugh as it is of him in a time far before I knew him……I used to ask him about how it was to go to high school with Jesus, so when he and I were together he was over 1900 years old.  Well not really, but we always joked together, so he would appreciate that one

But Bill was a “surprise” friend.  I first learned about him shortly after I had accepted the call to become the Rector of St. Andrew’s in Barberton, Ohio. I had been a priest maybe 15 minutes.  Bill’s daughter (Liz) had a phone conversation and shared that her dad (Bill) had served as the priest there for MANY years, and he and his wife retired there in Barberton.  He loved that town, and he loved that church, and there had been a priest who came and served after Bill retired who didn’t want him around.  Granted, it is very rare that priests retire in the same place they have worked, but if you knew Bill you would have known this would have never been a problem.  But for a few years after he retired he was really kind of set aside by this guy.

But Liz wanted to tell me about him and ask if I would be okay with him attending.  I was an assistant at a large church in Florida at the time (Florida = God’s waiting room as my boss called it) and I was not just used to hanging with retired priests, I thought it was the greatest thing ever.  I learned more from those guys than I ever did at seminary, which is incidentally 3 years of grad school in our denomination.  So I told her to have and come meet with me after I arrived, which he did.

And Bill was a delight.  He was just really an older version of me but with much worse jokes…..I mean groaners too.  He had (at least) a million of them and it never mattered what subject we were dealing with, he had one that met it head on.  He became my good friend and unintentional mentor, and although neither of us was looking for a thing, we both found something profound in each other.

Bill sermons were TYPED OUT, and when I say typed out I mean by a typewriter, not by a computer.  He could not cut and paste, nor could he search the Internet for illustrations and answers, he was “old school,” and he READ and thought it out before he wrote it.  I never once heard him complain about it, as he really considered it a privilege to be called to the priesthood.

Bill also was a long suffering Cleveland Indians fan too, and early in my time there he made me an offer I could not refuse.  He said if I would drive him up to games, he would buy the tickets.  His eyesight was not the best and he didn’t like to drive in all of the traffic, and I thought it was a great deal as I am a Cubs fan, and really they are the same exact team generally, just in a different league.  And we would sit CLOSE to the field, as the stadium then seated about a million people, but most of the time there were about 15 fans there.  It was a blast.  He was a baseball savant too, and although definitely an Indians fan to the very end, he was not just fluent in Cubs baseball, he was fluent in ALL baseball.  We had a blast.

What I can say is that we did a lot of ministry together too.  We grew that church together, with me never worrying about him taking over, and him never wanting to.  We were just two guys from different generations blessed to be priests together serving the same people and the same church.  So this is to say, yes, we did work, a lot…..and we loved it.

We also together attended every funeral fro all the priests that had served in the diocese, but who had retired and had been forgotten.  Generally we found ourselves there with the Suffragan (assistant) Bishop, as these men usually weren’t know to the big cheese.  Bill knew most of them personally though, and would always be gracious and comforting to the families and always told them that “Mimi sends her love as well “(that was Bill’s wife)  But he would tell me all about these saints and I took it all in.  We both always shared how we hoped that people would remember us, not for our egos, but for our families.  He was just as dedicated to them as well.

Bill moved to a retirement home in Pennsylvania near one of his daughters and we lost touch.  I had the high honor however of stepping into the pulpit of our old church and speaking at his funeral a few years back.  I had left the Episcopal Church by then, and despite leaving they had still charged me as not having the “character to be a priest,” and defrocked me.  But there at St. Andrew’s Barberton, the Suffragan Bishop of Ohio allowed me, a priest of many years, into the pulpit to speak about my mentor and friend.  Later his family gave me his white chasuble that I have worn every Christmas and Easter season since, and at every funeral I have presided over as well.  It means more to me than I could ever explain.

But the bigger mystery is how to explain what lives on of Bill in me.  Truly I am a far better priest from knowing him, and quite honestly a far better man.  And I imagine he now sits up in heaven among those very men of whom he can name their every stat, and that his seats there are great in a place where the Indians finally win.  But I miss him.  He’d never pump himself up, but he was a giant to me.  Paper and pencil, books and hard work, he taught me a lot…….more than I could ever learn on this stupid computer.

Rest in peace my brother, and I hope to see you, although not too soon.

And goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

Who I thought I was catching the eye of all the nuns…..

Today’s date has come and gone many times over the course of my ministry, and most of the time if I remember it I can blame it on someone else who has reminded me as I tend to forget it.  But 24 years ago today I took the vows of a priest, and in all honesty, just like my high school sports career, it seems like yesterday.

Who I REALLY WAS in 1990….

But the priesthood for me has never been something I intended to mark “time in” over, for I discovered very early on that it had very little to do with what had passed, and everything to do with the present and the future.  Sure, I suppose I don’t show myself to be a greenhorn all that much anymore, but I also know that I will never be classified as “prone to perfection” either.  I have always just taken it one day at a time, and have been blessed far more than I can ever describe.  It is has been, and continues to be, a high honor, a very humbling call, and one that to this day I take very seriously.

Probably a more realistic perception…..

Yes, even after 24 years as a priest (and 25 totally ordained if I live to June 23rd) I am less connected to institutional side and the structures and such of the Church, as I am connected to the One who calls us all by name.

So tonight this is short and sweet, just like the sermon you’d dream I would deliver!  And I will close just by sharing with you a few pictures to reflect a little a bit of the last 24 years.  No clergy were harmed in the production of this posting.

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

(Father, 24 in) Tommy+

First of all, let me say that this is does not taste one thing like avocados, but compared to many of the other bars I eat, such as the ones from Atkins or Special K, this one probably has the best effectiveness for me in terms of calorie intake.  It just doesn’t have good flavor, nor can you taste the supposed basil and olives.  But the hotel sets them out like they are desirable, and since I am not a big fan of mints I thought I would give it a try……1 star out of 5 for sure.

But despite the hotel, we headed to Pennsylvania to see the second of Steph’s two games out there this weekend.  The first was on Friday, and Ben had school so we stayed in town.  But the second was today against #15 Indiana University of Pennsylvania.  Lindenwood is #13, but even if they weren’t, speaking entirely for every person from my home state (it’s Indiana if you haven’t guessed) I think they should have beaten them badly just for trying to steal our state name.  PLUS, if you go to or went to Indiana University HERE (in Indiana) you might feel cheated, as these students who stole your/our name have snow apparently 360 days a year and actually attend class.  What kind of program do they run there anyway?

But the identity theft and confusion did not stop the Lions from winning 19-11, which I personally declared as a vindication for all people from Indiana.  I would say for all “Hoosiers,” but many of us who are products of the state feel that name really means someone who went to IU.  It is not nearly as big an issue for me, as I went to Butler, but I wouldn’t want to call those two Purdue girls I posted about yesterday Hoosiers.  That could lead to “justifiable homicide.”  The theme of this paragraph therefore is a win for the Lindenwood Lions.

But we are not home and pretty dang tired.  It was great to see the game though and especially Steph. They head to I think Georgia, Florida, or the Carolinas next, meaning WARM games that I probably will not make it to as Ben still has school and I cannot drive that far without having to stay in a hotel.

And I am still reeling from the bar I ate at the last one.

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

Well since we couldn’t make it to Steph’s game in Slippery Rock, Pennsylvania yesterday (apparently there is some sort of law that states that Ben has to attend “school”) I still was able to get a lacrosse fix by attending some college games in Indianapolis that featured a few former players of mine.  And it gave me the idea that I could connect with all of them again, even if it was not lacrosse and get some pictures to post.  Today however, all these girls continue to play the game.

The first is Alyssa Jarvis, who plays for Indiana University.  She is one of my daughter’s closest friends and they still hang out often when Steph is at home.  She, like Steph, is a senior and will have to be entering life pretty soon.  Sadly, I could not stay for any of her games, but did see her for this picture!!

The second is Nikki Tombers who is at Purdue.  Nikki was the one who let me know about the games, and it was fun to see her play offense for the first time ever this morning.  She was a defender in high
school and through her entire college playing career.  She did pretty good too!!  I didn’t hear one “I’ve got ball,” from her though as it is more of a defender thing.

The third is Claire Hoover, who took up lacrosse in high school and who played a lot of defense (for me) but always made it clear she wanted to be up closer to the goal.  She also plays for Purdue and is up where she wanted!!  I
retired from coaching just after her first year, but I knew she would always do well.  When you want to mix it up it is a coach’s dream!!

And the last is Morgan Williams, who plays for Taylor University and was a mainstay for me at defense all the time she played for me. I used to encourage her to carry the ball and move up, but she liked to defend and pass off more than any player at that position I ever had…..she was good at it too.  Oddly enough, she plays midfield now and I watched with dismay her carry the ball up the field through a lot of traffic.

The Lindenwood Lions won again last night, and although I could not be there, this was a pretty awesome morning!  I had and have a great deal of admiration for every one of the girls I have coached and I sure do miss them.  Each one has left me personally better than I was before.  Today, I got to see four really great ones too.

And yes, of course they are young women, and will soon all be making their marks on the world.  But today I am thankful for the mark they have made upon me and how today, in particular, they were able to do it again!  It has been a great day!

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

Tonight was a great, but also a hard night.  Tonight I was able to get together and see my niece Amelia (my sister Stephanie’s daughter), and her boyfriend Ryan (whom I had never met!) as they were in Indianapolis.  We were able to meet them for dinner when they were with my dad (and Debby and Anna), so we had a great time!  I had not seen her since my mom’s funeral, which has been quite some time.  It really warmed my heart to see her.  She is a fine young woman and Ryan seemed to be a pretty great guy!  I knew he existed, but there is a big difference between theory and reality!!  It was a fun night.

But where it was hard was not being with Steph (my daughter) who was playing in Pennsylvania tonight.  They won, but the lack of being able to watch her play was pretty hard on me.  I missed it. We did listen to the majority of it on the radio, as it was not available on video, but it was really impossible to figure out what I normally could see.  Sure I was happy with the victory, but parents focus on their kids and you just cant do that on radio, especially a broadcast from a student run station.

And my dad fell yesterday and jacked up his shoulder, so although you cannot tell from the picture, his arm is in a sling.  He was “not happy” about that, and I didn’t think he should be.  But he was a good sport about it and we were all able to be there together.

Anyway, I was VERY glad we went.  I miss Amelia, and I was very thankful for the opportunity.  Her mom and I were typical siblings (I was always right and she was always wrong) but it made me wish she could have been there.

Life changes, people grow up, they may move, and we all get older.  We can long for the old days, or we can remember them fondly, as they do not stay closer the more we long.  We just need to enjoy what we have and give thanks for what we are given.   And I did, and I am….

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

Life is sure filled with its ups and downs, yet I don’t find it nearly as difficult as some people make it to be.  I suppose as the world sees more and more gray, I still just see a lot of black and white.  I am reminded of the one of the great misquotes of all time, first (mis)taken from Commodore Perry concerning the Battle of 1812, “We have seen the enemy and the enemy is us.”  Perry used “ours.”

But as I look around life, I am befuddled to see how it is often mired in dysfunction.  Despite being technologically advanced, we have become imprisoned to our constant contact to each other.  Unless you live in a very isolated place, you cannot drive a mile without seeing someone talking while driving on their phone, and if you drive but another mile you will find another texting.  Of course you may say, “Tom, isn’t this far better than a newspaper and dog on a lap in t
he car?”  To which I answer, “You are just not getting this, are you?”  Then again, the irony of this all is I a posting this on an electronic blog which you may be reading while you drive anyway.

But in truth, we have become “too big for our britches,” as my grandma used to say.  We are too well connected, yet not connected at all, listening to each other, yet not there for each other.  Even in the Church, we are eager to issue communiques and important points of theology and development, but aren’t willing to walk with each other.  It is a disappointment and a road a further mess, and I cannot believe that it is pleasing to God, but many of us may disagree since they probably know him well as they follow Him on Twitter.

But although I am offering no solution, I will say the first step is identifying the problem, and to me it is clear.  How to deal with it, I do not know.  I like being connected, I really do, but in truth it is really superficial in many ways.  It is better than nothing, but as for me, I want to do better.  And this is my first step of fighting it in my own life…..thanks for being a part, now watch those pedestrians!

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

In my blog for Shrove Tuesday, I failed to exhibit the sign that Ben went upstairs and made for the dog as it was a chocolate cake.  Viper had been known to eat a chocolate chip cooke every now and again, but even though chocolate is toxic to canines, it takes far more of it to poison a full grown male Golden Retriever than it does, lets say a Pomeranian.  So this is to say, Ben made a sign that was prominently displayed on the side of the island upon which the cake was set.

Tonight’s picture is from this morning, and Ben was fascinated to find it.  It seemed intriguing to me that he was less concerned that Viper ate chocolate or w
orse yet broke his Ash Wednesday fast, as he was that he altered his sign by crossing out the word “not.”  I personally was amused that he swelled allowed “alloud,” as he is the family genius on spelling.  But in time he seemed to take it all in stride. His cake was actually safe and had been moved to “a non-disclosed location.”

So that is really it for this evening, and I won’t write any more.  It is not that I am not alloud, but it has more to do with my need for sleep.  Today has been a long and busy day, and my bed just seems to be calling my name!

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

Well tonight for Shrove Tuesday, Ben’s Pizza Kitchen was open yet again, and he worked hard to make his mom a couple (as he only eats one kind) of pizzas and some calzones.  I just handle the hot stuff and he does the rest, including how much of what to put in.  It was spectacular!

He however, wanted to make his mom dessert tonight so we decided to bake a cake.  To my knowledge he had not ever done that before, at least alone, so I measured out all the stuff, he mixed it together, and wala…..Shrove Tuesday Chocolate on Chocolate Cake.  And, as you can see from the picture next to this, he “marked it with a B,” and he put it in the oven for mommy and BEN, as I am not the object of his affections for such things.  He frosted and then frosted the big B as well.  It looked pretty spectacular.

Of course six year olds have their limitations, which usually mean that their parents set some sort of boundaries.  No normal six year old would do so for his or herself.  So we all ate pizza and it was good, and we all also enjoyed a piece of his delicious chocolate cake.  He liked baking it, and he liked decorating it, but he didn’t want to eat the B, nor did he seem dissatisfied about being limited to one piece.

But I had to run to the pharmacy to pick up a prescription and when I left the cake was out on the counter, and, it was perfectly in tact.  At 10 years old our dog Viper tends to not swipe stuff anymore, especially when someone is home, so I didn’t worry about him.  And our cat is not even interested in tuna or catnip let alone cake.  This all reinforced my belief that the cake would be safe for the 30 minutes or so I would be gone.  But on my arrival back home, the second picture is what I discovered. And it has the definite MO of someone who is six.

Certainly it could have been his mom who was just trying to frame him, but she is too OCD to eat all that frosting without some sort of discernible pattern.  The dog and cat are also not suspects as there would have been nose prints or paw prints as well as a tumbled pan if they were.  This all clearly indicates that the chef was downstairs without supervision, quite possibly with a professional frosting gauge, as you can see from the picture this cake has been mined.

But I am giving him a pass as it is Shrove Tuesday.  He normally eats a ton of pancakes, so a little frosting addiction seems quite innocuous.  After all, we also call it Fat Tuesday, and he did make us dinner to boot.

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+