All posts by Fr Tom Tirman

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Sexy? Well…no…….

Just days after making fun of Amanda’s car I found myself driving her to someplace hearing her complain of how much she hated her car. Of course, although my car is a much more sexy version of the great gas mileage set, one of the things I despise about it is that it is a stick. No, I have no objection to driving a stick, but since my car is my office, I hate shifting while talking, drinking coffee, and most importantly…..sleeping while I work!

So in my brilliance I said, “take the Matrix,” and although she questioned me about it for a bit, the bottom line is that I am now the proud driver of a baby blue (they call it sliver-blue….they are MORONS) 2003 Honda Civic. And yes, I will no longer have to shift, and yes I will peel the LU Mom sticker off the back, but I will be in HEAVEN.
Sure, it is my JOB to make fun of such a thing when I am not driving it…..but I have been trying to talk her into a MINIVAN for years. I am very secure in myself, and I could drive a pink car if I had to. I just want to be comfortable.
So I will just have to get used to 50 miles a gallon and no shifting I guess. Is is sexy? Well, no….but who in the world cares. At 50, no one sees me as sexy anymore!
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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About the Biggest Loser……

Yes, I am willing to concede that I am the Biggest Loser, but not in the way that would lay claims to the fact that I have lost the most weight, because I am certain I have not. But I have made some significant changes that I believe will lead to that. And for that I am thankful.

Of course it is odd to me that the August 22nd end of the competition came and went without any mention of a winner. I have decided not to ask. Perhaps everyone is as much a miserable failure at it as me, but I am doubtful. Amanda has lost quite a bit of weight, and although I am jealous I do enjoy the looks. People must think I am filthy rich if she is walking around with a big old slob like me!
But beyond all the competition, today was the first day I was not dizzy post-coming off the meds. AND, sad but true, I didn’t eat a thing today but not with any intention to do so…..it just happened. I think it is a sign of things to come, because had I not been tied up with all sorts of work stuff today I probably would have hit the YMCA. I am feeling it, and that is a blessing.
So tomorrow Amanda heads for Europe till September 2nd. Steph is at college, Scott is in Michigan where he is playing drums as his old band that had broken up, is back together to open for another band for three shows. Apparently the opening act requested they get back together to play for them. They all agreed and so they are off.
But Ben and I will survive. We will probably just play and hang out the whole time. We may even go up to visit my grandma in Goshen one day. It will be an adventure for sure.
But for now I want to head to bed before I realize I could order myself a pizza! (actually I do not think I would) But thank God for the victories and thank God for today. I may not be much….but tomorrow I will be a little thinner!
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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The certainty of uncertainty……..

One of the worst things I deal with in life is uncertainty…..I HATE not knowing what is going on. And such has been the case over the last 24 hours or so as our phones and Internet have been out. I was in the middle of quite a few big things as I have been waiting for it all to be restored too.

Of course I DO have a cell phone, and yes it DOES have email…..but most of the business I do is on my regular email. And although I live in a great neighborhood and house, my cell phone works the best in the driveway, and I cannot spend all my day out there.
So needless to say I was pretty excited to see the Comcast guy this morning. I had already asked the fine customer service people how much a new cable modem was going to cost me, and although they said “free” they did change their minds when I clarified that I intended to run over it with my car because I needed to do something with all that frustration. But that’s what probably got me the early morning call.
But the good news is that it is fixed and even more than that, I am able to work without interruption.
As a guy who grew up with 3 channels on a black and white TV you would think I could be more patient. But in truth it just all amazes me, and in a life full of uncertainty, at least all this technology breaking down is something I can finally be certain of!
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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Decisions, decisions……..

The problem with having an overdeveloped sense of humor is that no one often gets it, and in truth after awhile, they just stop believing it altogether.

You see, today I found a site that would let me design my mom’s headstone, so I took some liberty……disrespectful? NOT AT ALL…..my mom was a great jokester.
As an example, I was a big fan of Inspector Clouseau. In fact, I used to imitate him all the time at home. So every time my mom would see me do something she would say “swine” in a French accent. No, it was not exactly top shelf comedy, but it was funny to us. Other examples were a bit more bizarre I guess, so maybe I should stop right here.
But back to the headstone. I actually designed one that had a bass (fish) flying out of the water as it was hooked on the line (next to her name) with the words “I’ll catch you later!” She would have laughed herself silly at that. Say what you will for her, pre-Alzheimer’s she was sharp and always good for a laugh.
But in all honesty, the headstone I ordered will just bear her name, date of birth, and date of death…..with no fish of any kid at all. It’s nice, but pretty bland……not quite her forte.
I will have to figure out some sort of add on…….after all, it’s her stone and I want her to be happy!
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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No complaints……

I came to the firm conclusion this afternoon that my life would be far easier if I didn’t have to work, had no family, or a funeral to plan……but sadly I am a bit tied into all three.

Things at work have been building into a bit more intensity, while my family just keeps adding more and more for me to do! Of course had I entered a monastery as I considered out of seminary, my guess is I would be wondering why, with the brilliant mind I possess, I was the potato peeler. So I suppose I should, as they say, just bloom where I am planted……..but I still have some complaints.
It seems as if my life is always busy, and although there are varying degrees of intensity to it all, if the truth be known, it is my life and I am committed to live with it (much to the chagrin of my family I am sure.)
But who am I to complain….my life is really pretty good.
And if only I were in charge, how much better would it be!!!
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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Of funerally things……..

Wow……my mom has a lot more to do now that she is in heaven drinking margaritas with my sisters. I THOUGHT I was really ahead of the game with all of this, but in reality the work may just be kicking up.

Apparently no one can pour concrete but a contractor to set my mom’s stone on. It is not a big deal to pour such a thing, because I have poured things larger than even that. But apparently everyone needs to get their cut. I would have gone down and poured a foundation next week when Amanda is in Europe, but we have to file stuff and be licensed before we do. (And the cemetery gets a part of it back too!)
But I do not want to complain….it only makes things worse. I have been involved with lots of funerals, I just have never been this involved in this side of it.
Pray for me! This is so much work that I just may end up keeping that grave for myself!!
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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Welcome home…….MATRIX

WOW….today was a LONG DAY! And it was longer because I was driving my wife’s very masculine baby blue Honda Hybrid with that “LU Mom” sticker on the back window. There are not too many more things in this life to make you feel less of a man!

But that car has no “giddy-up and go” as my grandma used to say. It is nothing at all like my 2009 BLACK Toyota Matrix (a manual) that I am sure is the very same car that Batman would dive if he were not secretly a millionaire and was more “energy conscience.” Yep, it is a sad day when I actually think my car is more manly. But compared to Amanda’s car it really is.
So I am glad to be out of it. And I am in bed waiting for Amanda and Ben to return from Missouri.
Sure, I will help them carry their stuff in and make small talk. But what I am really interested in is getting back my keys!
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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Boo……

Ours is a big scary house when you are staying here alone, and that’s exactly what I am doing since Scott called a bit earlier and said he was staying with friends. I do not normally get spooked by such things either, but it would be far easier if our home didn’t look like 95% of the places checked out by the Ghosthunters.

Of course I need not worry, after all, Viper is…………asleep. And the cat ALWAYS just walks around and stares creepily at places where nothing is clearly there because that is just what cats do. But really, I am tired of it tonight.
Tomorrow I will be speaking at three of our churches and it will be a long day. Rest is exactly what I need and although I am going to try to take it EXTREMELY easy this week beginning on Monday, the first order of doing that is making sure I make it TO Monday.
Oddly enough, though I complain about it often, I miss Ben’s little feet jammed into my side. He wakes up in the middle of most nights and sneaks in our room. He has cold feet so he needs to put them somewhere to be comfortable…..after all, it is all about him. Yet there is just something about me that is used to it. Pretty weird, I know.
But for now I will just try and coast out to sleep. I am pretty sure if there are ghosts they would find haunting Viper and I quite dull anyway.
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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I have no idea what I am doing……

With all that is going on here, I stayed behind in Indiana while Amanda, Steph, and Ben headed to Missouri to take Steph back to college. I really wanted to go, but with my mom’s passing yesterday I needed to stay here and take care of a few things. I have been surprised at how much there is to do when someone dies. I guess I have never had to deal with all the details before.

But I am making headway. I got her pension payments stopped. I got the information for her death certificate to the right place. I contacted the cemetery in Evansville, where we will bury her next to my sister Stephanie sometime within the next few weeks or months (she has been cremated). And I am pretty sure I did quite a few other things pertaining to this that I cannot remember.
And….I have heard from A LOT of people. It is touching, really, but also a bit overwhelming. But I am just plugging along and hoping that I am not forgetting anything. So far so good. I suppose we will see how well I have done as all the calls and paperwork begin to die down.
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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The Strife is over……..Kay Tirman 1939-2011

Tonight at 5:20 pm, my mom, Kay Tirman took her last breath and entered into her eternal reward. (The picture is of her and Ben on her birthday in 2007) It has been a long battle for her, as she has been an Alzheimer’s patient for many years. She made these last days easy for us as she got worse…..she suddenly seemed to wake out of that dazed mind and give some direction……”do not send me to the hospital, and discontinue treatment.”

Of course I could not trust what I was hearing or listen to it, after all, sick or not she is my mom and I am her son. But she probably knew that and told the Nurse Practitioner the same thing the next morning…..and then she just sort of faded away. It was a great gift to me, and one I will always remember.
When I saw her last, today at around noon, she was suffering. Her breathing was labored and she was not sedated enough. I was not too pleased and even less polite about it for sure. But the Hospice people really stepped in and up, which is why they are the best at what they do. I was already dealing with all sorts of work stuff, trying to keep my blood pressure down, and stressed to the gills. I will regret till the day I die thinking that a call I was on for work was too important to answer a call from a number I did not know. It was pretty poor judgement on my part for sure.
The call was from Carrie Fisher, not of Star Wars fame, but of Hospice…..my mom’s nurse. Carrie saw my mom crashing and did her best to get ahold of me, finally making the decision to sit with her, hold her hand, and say a prayer for her as she died. What I couldn’t do, she did, and although we had only met once before and I was a bit of a butt head to her then, I will say she will be someone I will always remember…..and I mean always. Dealing with patients and families at this point of life can be icky, and I just thank God for people who can walk there despite the messiness. She did more for me and my family than many people I have known all my life. And for her I am eternally thankful and have been blessed.
Of course the big blessing is that my mom is now free of that broken body and mind and is probably in heaven with my two sisters trash talking me right now. I am always conflicted about the blessing of spending eternity with my two sisters, but I know it was something my mom wanted very much. None of this has been the life that she envisioned…..the loss of two daughters, the steady descent into a lost mind, and struggles with diabetes and cancer. It was a mess.
But now life is different for her, and I am happy for her. Her death does not hurt, but gives me hope.
If there are margaritas in heaven, they are drinking them tonight! Rest in Peace mom. I am glad you are free from the torment you were living in.
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+