Well it seems that yet another day is past, and to be honest, I do not remember much of the details of it.  I do know that I was exceptionally busy, but the details of the day escape me.  And now at 10:35 pm I sit in my office trying to bring it back…..I am afraid it is lost.

These lapses used to bother me a great deal, and I used to struggle with them deeply, trying as hard as I could to remember.  What it led to more than anything was just more frustration rather than any success.  And thankfully I have learned.  I do not torture myself trying to get back things that will just not come.  I instead let them go.  And, if I am feeling dissatisfied, I just make stuff up…….

I have been living with the new me for just under four years, and in all honesty, it doesn’t matter if I like me or not (thank God I like me lots better now!) because it is what it is.  Brain trauma is a funny thing, and it is different for everyone.  Mine has made me much more laid back in addition to being a lot taller and more handsome…..and even younger.  And who wouldn’t be thankful for that?

And although I do write about it occasionally, I am really well adjusted to it.  I was going to say that it invades my life everyday, but that would be defining it as something that is bad.  It has just changed me, and really it is more than okay…..it is something for which I am quite thankful.

Maybe someday I can write a book about it, but I don’t know.  I mean I feel like it is a good idea right now……but in 20 more minutes I’ll probably forget!  Thank God!

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

Ben shared that he was named “Flag Leader” today at school, and when we asked him why he said, “Because I am an American.”  We had to act like we never knew.

Of course being the Flag Leader, (although we can check that off our “Hopes and Dreams For Him List”) is just the base of the iceberg in terms of our expectations for him.  At 4, he already bosses his older siblings around and they quite often actually listen to him.  And he fights crime, is a master of disguise, and knows just about everything about everything.  And we’d probably let him head off to some Ivy League school right now if they all weren’t so danged agenda driven.  Tonight’s picture is his creation which was right outside his classroom door.  It is a true classic, like a Picasso probably worth millions, but I am sure to his Nanny it will be worth more than that!

But at 4, or more accurately 4.5, he has already amazed us.  He has the Tirman sense of humor and it is remarkably fine tuned for his age.  There is no telling what he will end up being in life, but as Steph and Scott and I were talking this weekend, we ought to make sure his wife is pretty dull as to not overload my grandchildren’s DNA.  Ben will be enough for the world to handle.

But enough of the speculation on the future.  I am just here in my office enjoying an argument between he and Amanda about why he cannot leave his toys all over the house.  I would normally bet on my wife, but I have to admit he learns and adapts each and every moment.   It won’t be long till he has her in his clutches as well.

Oh yes, he gets it from me.  Every Tirman can recognize this DNA.  It’s just that in him, it seems highly unstable.  Pray for us!

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

Why don’t you like me?  Is it because of what I believe?  Is it because I choose to stand for my faith?  Let’s not pretend.  Maybe now that Tim Tebow is out of the playoff picture, we hear the negativity about him a lot less, but I/we would be foolish to forget it.

Am I just considered to be more socially accepted as a Christian because I am a priest?  In truth, that is not supposed to be the way that it works.  For I am called to form people to witness through their lives……doing the very things I see Tim Tebow do in his life.

Oh but the criticism!  Oh the judgement!  And quite often this comes from the very same people who expect people like me to marry them, baptize their children, or bury their friends and relatives.  The hypocrisy is astounding, and it insults me to my very core.

Yet I feel compelled to ask you to pray for these people, because I don’t just believe, but I know they truly need it.

I confess, I would love to see all the people I shepherd have the same sense of faith and determination I see in Tim Tebow.  He draws his strength from the wellspring of life, and he speaks truth to the people he meets.  It is truly not about him, and it fills me with admiration for his courage and commitment.  We do not need to see him less or put him away……..we need to let him speak and give people the opportunity to listen….obviously they are not getting it.

Let me give some “in kind” advice that I often receive as I express my concerns for all the trash and hatred we are bombarded with on every side, for I am often told to not watch it, or to turn my head, or to understand it is free speech and to let it be.   I would encourage those of you who do not agree with how he is living to do the same, but only in part…..to let it be.

You see, I do want you to listen, not just to guys like Tim Tebow, but to guys like me.  Don’t turn your head, because what you can learn and change you and make you into so much more than you are today….it may even save your life.  If you want more for your life than what you are living, listen to what we are saying…..God offers you more.  But that is your choice, not mine, nor Tim Tebow’s.  No one is trying to head lock you or oppress you.  We are just living our lives.

But let’s be honest people.  Let’s not use the Church and faith for things like weddings and baptisms or funerals or free counseling or anything else while beating up the people who make it what it is.  For we are praying for you, not as a sign of some kind of superiority or spiritual elitism, but because we want all people to come to know what we do.  That Jesus died and rose for all people, and indeed means you too.

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!


Tommy+

I do not know exactly what to call them, “The Three Musketeers,” “The Trifecta of Cooking,” or “The Three Stooges,” I just know that I need to be out of their way.

Well it is official……Scotty has no wisdom teeth, and although he is a funny guy, he has been 10 times funnier sedated.  Amanda said he spoke in Chinese all the way home, though I can verify that he speaks no Chinese at all outside the influence of Versed.  He just rambled and joked, but soon he was in bed, and we did not see him for quite a few hours.  Like all of us however, his bed-ridden stage didn’t last long.  He is now up, and joking.  He has no swelling and is not in too much pain.  It has been a good day and  complication-free one at that.

As for me, the day has been one of both reflection and wonder.  Amanda took Scotty to the surgeon.  I took Ben to school.  But even though Scott is 18, I worried about him, as I have all day.  And it took me back to me getting my wisdom teeth out.  My parents were not involved, but if they knew I know they would worry.  I imagine I didn’t worry about that at all though.

And when I was a kid, I took a hockey stick to the mouth.  Yep, I have some nice porcelain replacements bolted into my jaw.  But once again, when it happened, it was all about me.  That’s all I worried about….but I am sure my parents were a mess.  I watched them both later in life struggle with the illnesses and subsequent deaths of my sisters Steph and Sarah.  Having kids is rewarding, but hard.  You worry.

It reminded me of a time when Steph (my daughter) was but a few months old and she had a cold.  I remember being on the phone with my mom and talking about how I was sure she was fine, but I just worried about her all the time.  AND, that I was looking forward to the time that I didn’t worry about her. Of course she chucked.  I was probably 30 or 31 at the time, and she said, “What makes you think I do not worry now?”  She was right….it never ends.

So as I worried today about Scott my mind drifted off to grandchildren I will someday have who will worry my children just like they worry me.

It really did make me smile.

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

Of all the days I chose to travel it was today.  Of course since October it has only snowed twice significantly (for here, meaning it covers the grass)….that is until today.

I set out early to go and meet a nun friend of mine in Warsaw, Indiana which is only about 100 miles away.  But suddenly the ice and the snow came, and time seemed to stand still.  And my hopes of arriving  mid-morning deteriorated into an early afternoon arrival.  It was not that much snow, but the ice and the wind made travel unbearable.  There were plenty of plows, but they didn’t drive that fast, nor did they move at all without long lines behind them.  And my worry was the fact that I was to be back to pick Ben up at 5.  Worry worry worry……  Had I gone on any other day prior to today, I would have had plenty of time.

In fact, I had hoped to get up to Goshen to visit my grandparents’ grave, as it was just a little under 20 miles further than Warsaw.  But with my experience heading up to my meeting, that could mean a couple of additional hours.

I have to confess I was a bit depressed about not having the time, but just as I was leaving Warsaw Amanda called.  She was still working, but she wanted me to know that Scott was off and was heading to pick up his brother.  Time would not be an issue, and in my thankfulness, distance or traffic would not be either.  I turned around and headed for Goshen.

As you can see, I made it.  The cemetery had not been plowed, but I didn’t care.  It was important to me to be there.

And my ride home, although extremely difficult, was very satisfying.  There was so much ice and wind that it was like driving a Zamboni, but it was worth it.  I think of my grandparents everyday, and my life would be far different without them in it.  And I am thankful my day turned out the way that it did.

All and all, despite the weather, this has been a great day.

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

Tonight was a night that I would rather not remember.  I had a busy day and Amanda met Ben and I in Indianapolis after her work to eat, as I had some things to pick up down there.  For the first time in a long time my cell phone was almost dead, but I really wasn’t planning on using it too much, so no big deal.

After we ate, Amanda and Ben went home and I made a few stops.  They would beat me home by about 45 minutes I figured, and that would give us still an hour till Scott got home from school.  But I was coming through Fishers (about 15 miles from home) when Amanda called.  A door was unlocked downstairs when she came home, which didn’t trouble her at first, but Viper (our 8 year old dog) who I have never heard growl, (yes this is his picture) was growling across Ben’s room toward the dark hall leading to Steph’s room.  He was protecting them from something.  So she locked them all in my office and called me.  

I of course would have always wanted to be called, but I was concerned more for their safety.  I asked her if she had called the police, which was ‘no,” and she also said there was now no Internet…..which to me meant no phone and perhaps alarm.  I hit the gas as I called the police, and I am thankful my battery lasted through all of this….it was close.

The police in Edgewood are great.  It is a small town and they know every property.  I explained that the house was locked since she got home, but she could probably throw down a key to them from my office or wait for me to get there…..they didn’t have to, for they found an unlocked door and entered and searched the house.

By the time I arrived, Ben was playing with the two officers, and Amanda was getting a bit of a lesson about calling them right away.  I am sure she will next time.  And although I do have a permit to carry, I wasn’t tonight…..but regardless, everything pointed to the need for the real professionals, and I called them.  They train to sweep houses for bad guys and lots of other things too, and it gave me peace to know they were on the scene.

So thanks to the Edgewood Police Department and for their good work.  I really do love living here, and I thank God for the good people I live among.  I am also thankful that tonight they are all safe.

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

Today was kind of a big day.  Scotty, who took last semester off thinking he was heading to the Marines this month, had a big change of plans.  He was intending to serve in the Marine Reserves through college, but now with everyone coming home the whole dynamic has changed.  He will now just do his degree and intends to go in afterwards…..at least that is the plan for now.

So tonight was his first night of class.  He has class four nights a week, and it is really kind of nice to know he will be at home for now.  His original spot is still open in St. Louis to study music education, but you can see the wheels in his head spinning all the time now.  He plays for one of our churches, he has a full-time job, he is a full-time student, and he is the drummer for a band that is getting quite a bit of attention.  Oh to be 18 again!  (Although when I was 18 I was really nothing but trouble!)

It was nice to see him excited about it though.  I know he had himself set to go now.  All that is rapidly changing for a lot of people in the military.  Had he decided on that early in his senior year he would probably be gone.  I know it disappoints him in a way, but I am glad to have him here.  He can still go if he wants, and as I said at this point he still says he wants to, but there is a lot of life to happen between now and graduation.  Time will tell and we will see.

Off to bed for me…..it has been a long and grueling day!

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+

A couple of nights ago I mentioned that I would be posting about the whole Tim Tebow thing, and I want you to know that I have not forgotten.  It just appears to be a much deeper post that I had envisioned.  It will come, and most likely this week.

But today has been a day filled with both work and Ben meltdowns, and all of which involve his mom being absent in some way.  The first was when she was at Zumba.  He needed to share every toy with me he has ever gotten, most of which were acquired for him by me.  And now he is doing battle with her as he wants to sleep in our bed, which is not really “ours” but “his mommy’s” and his case is being aided by a lot of wailing and tears.  It does make it hard to type, let alone think.

So I am taking advantage of his not being here (in his mommy’s bed) yet, and typing away at this entry.  She does think she is smarter than he is, but believe me, he is a real pro.  I am giving myself good odds that his little body will be here beside me in the morning when I wake up.  He is stubborn and determined like his mom, and with my DNA in there too, he is almost invincible!  I probably ought to just scoot to the side now!

But for now I have room and I am resigned to what sleep I can get.  I have a busy day on the docket tomorrow, and if there are just no meltdowns, I hope to finish it in time to enjoy the evening.

Goodnight my friends and God Bless.

Tommy+

Although I am the wrong kind of doctor to make such a diagnosis, I believe that Ben is getting better.  He was not well enough to accompany his mom and me to Nashville this morning so I went alone.  But he did manage to attend St. Anne’s with Amanda at 11:30.  I however was wondering how he was doing all day, and even bought him this “on sale” bean bag chair that you see in the picture.  Apparently my worries were unfounded……he seems fine.

So I was able to get home with the chair to a quiet house…they were all asleep.  I did my sermon twice today, and recorded it twice, but listening to both twice on the way home didn’t help me decide which one I would post on our podcast website  http://www.smaac.podbean.com/  After much internal struggle, I decided on the first one.

But my afternoon turned out to be pretty empty.  I saw the end of the Houston loss, and then the highlights of the Packers loss too (I do not know if you can tell who I was rooting for or not).  So it was a pretty depressing afternoon/evening.  The only blessing is that I have a meeting in Washington DC the weekend of the Superbowl, and the tickets in the Eli Lilly luge with my wife I will not be using, but who she and my son Scotty will, will not be watching the teams I wanted.  Of course I am now cheering for the 49er’s as their coach is a former BEARS quarterback!  But I digress……..

Tonight I am on the cusp of the week in which I will catch up with all I need to do!  AND, I am pretty excited about it!  It gives me a great vision for the future, because planning is always easier when you are ahead!  I just hope it is not a “pipe-dream” and I wake up in the morning feeling the same way!

Goodnight my friends and God Bless!

Tommy+