All posts by Fr Tom Tirman

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Reaching the finish line…….

I suppose it all depends upon your perspective…..we made it to the finish line in terms of getting to the closing, but in a real sense it is but a starting line for a new chapter in our lives. Though intense in getting there (the down payment was wired about an hour before we needed to close) everything went very well. We not only signed all the papers with the Woodruffs, but we went out for a nice dinner and drinks afterwards with them as well. It was a real honor…..a splendid day.

And on a personal note, Amanda and I are celebrating tonight in a very typical Tirman fashion…..I am at home with the dog and she is at a lacrosse meeting. But when she gets home I will trick her into letting me carry her over the threshold, even though I threw out my back earlier today. It will be worth the pain. AND perhaps she will be sympathetic to me as I milk this injury for all I am worth. ($5.25)
So I will bid you all adieu, because I am really pretty darn tired…..especially of a-doin!
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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Time flies when you are doing anything but closing tomorrow……

I cannot tell you how excited we are about tomorrow. At 3pm we will finally close on our home. As I have said before, we are buying it from friends who are delighted that we will be living here, and the whole thing has special meaning for me, and I believe for us all.

I will say that most of the high waves we have been dealing with have now all become manageable. I was worried after renting a U-Haul to pack my mom’s stuff and move it, when the bank called shortly after I finished to say the underwriter wanted to know a few more things. It required me to drop everything and head back 30 miles to my laptop and printer, because even in these days of technology we are still dependent upon the FAX. But in just a few hours all was settled. My stress now is about how much to wire to a 3pm closing…..the amount I will find out in the morning. They know how to cut everything to the wire.
But the good news is that by tomorrow at dinner we will own the house, and our friends will finally not own two homes…..we will! I do hope they celebrate with a big bottle of wine and a nice dinner. We will probably have some Taco Bell and unpack a few more boxes…..but it will be home, and it is a blessing to us all.
Anyway, tomorrow will come sooner if I go to bed……it’s certainly not scientific (because it is wrong) but deep down I believe it. So to bed I go.
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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Trouble…….

It has been a busy, and at times, horrifying day. After two services this morning, one in Westfield and another in Anderson, I left to do some visits, one of which just happened to be with my mom who also made a move on Friday between a nursing home in Noblesville to a nursing home here in Anderson.

Actually, I was a bit surprised they wanted to move her on the same day that we were moving, and what kept going through my mind was that it was just too good to be true. Of course adages such as that come back to haunt you, and today was such a day for me. I came into the new nursing home to the familiar little old lady chanting “help me, help me,” but this time it was my mom.
At east she was there, but I have to say that beyond that, not a lot was right. They moved her on time, but with nothing but the clothes she was wearing (that was 2 days ago) and they also didn’t bring her cigarettes, and she has smoked since she was 12, and mostly heavily. So the woman I ran into was not just an Alzheimer’s patient, but now suffering nicotine withdrawal (only since Friday), in someone else’s clothes, and no one even called me.
In the middle of all the ranting and raving coming from her, I asked her what she smoked. She told me and I ran out to get them right away. As I got to the store and said “Misty 120’s” the clerk asked “what kind?” I asked, “how many kinds are there?” “Two.” “I’LL TAKE BOTH!”
The good news is that 2pm my mom at least HAD her cigarettes and at 4pm had her first one since Friday. When I asked her what I could do for her she said “Shoot me.” It’s sounds disturbing, but it was a glimpse of my mom at her old brain’s best…..she was always pretty sharp witted. BUT, after that visits and a trip to Christ the King in Kokomo and St. Patrick’s in Westfield, I made my way to the old nursing home and grabbed all her clothes and cigarettes. And I then promptly delivered them to her.
I really do not know what my mom would remember about today’s conversation or the move. I just know there are a few things she should be able to enjoy. She still smokes, and is a diabetic that cheats at every chance, but that is about all she’s got. Her sharp mind is often absent, but she still reads about a book a day. She is never sure if I am married (Amanda often wishes I were not) and she thinks Ben is still a baby much of the time. But she still deserves her dignity and I hope I was able to recover a bit of it for her tonight. I will never know, but as my grandma (her mom) always says, “regardless of the circumstances, YOU can always do the right thing.
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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IN…….

All moved in and my office is unpacked. It was a royal disaster trying to get ready for the morning, but I can happily say that the bulletins are printed as are the readings. I will not be able to get up in the morning and just pop over, but the coffee is set for 5:30 and I should be out of here in about an hour to an hour and a half.

But it will not really matter, because for all the hard work I will be going tomorrow I will be returning to even more. I have my upcoming week scheduled around all the unpacking and organizing, but will still be working a full schedule.
One thing I have decided I want to share with you right now. I have downsized a lot in my office, and I made a decision tonight. Over the course of my ministry my office has always displayed two things, one, all the degrees I have earned, awards I have won, and things like ordination certificates and such, and two, pictures of my family.
In my downsizing I have decided to put all the history in a box in the basement in lieu of my family, and I am not just comfortable with that, but committed to it. It reminded me of a story that I laughed about tonight when I remembered it. I was finalist to be a Cathedral Dean a few years ago and someone on the search committee asked me what my greatest accomplishment was…..and without missing a beat I said my children. Clearly even today I would answer the same.
So my office is done, but waiting for us to find all the pictures. Sooner or later they will show up, but for now all those shelves (and there are many) will remain empty. Fortunately for me they are around me all the time!
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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Busta move……

Moving day, and though I was not lifting all the heavy furniture, somehow it has not been any less stressful. The movers were great guys, but it took two trips, and for me, the harder work now begins…..like finding everything.

First and foremost, my concern is to find the cat, who made the trip over with me and then promptly disappeared. A first you could hear her “transponder,” because she howled everywhere she went. But soon those howls faded and we have not seen her since. I KNOW she is in here, I just do not know where. I am just thankful I am not looking for one of the kids.
But the good news is that we are in and at least have that behind us. The big job tomorrow will be to get the office finished. I still am responsible for having all the bulletins over at St. Patrick’s today (3 miles from my old house and about 30 from here), but it should be no problem……my office is stacked with boxes and such only about waist high……it could be worse.
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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Thanksgiving…….

Today I look around and see that I have so much to be thankful for. God has blessed me, as He has all of us, with many blessings on every side.

We spent the lion’s share of the day preparing for tomorrow’s move. TWO trips out to the new house, and a trip to my dad’s for a wonderful meal in between. SO…….this means I am enjoying the blessing of a body too old to move (I am sore) AND I am over the top with food. Now I know why all those old guys I used to work around in Florida pulled their pants up to just below their chests…..it’s thinner there! But Amanda is probably not ready for that yet, (or the Bermuda shorts with black socks) so I will just have to live with it.
But the good news is that the movers will be here in about 8 more hours and it will “officially” begin. We are very thankful for that, and are buy the home from good friends who seem to feel just as good about us being there as we do moving there. We are heading there early too. We will not close till Tuesday, but they allowed us to move while Amanda was off work. They are wonderful, and it has been a great blessing.
So everyone but Stephanie (who is out with friends) is asleep. I will finish packing before bed. We have already done a lot of work, but the day is not lost on me. I am thankful to God for all I have, and with Him by my side………..I hope to be wearing those Bermuda shorts by the end of the year!
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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The Prodigal, sort of…..

Tonight I took a break from packing and drove into Indianapolis and picked up Stephanie from one of her teammates who has relatives here she was coming to visit for Thanksgiving. It is always great to see her, and now we have FOUR DRIVERS to shuttle stuff between houses!

And I suppose “prodigal” is not all that accurate for her. She really is not reckless with her spending and she is a pretty good student…..it was just the only biblical example of someone returning that is coming to my exhausted little mind. What has brought us both a lot of joy has not just been her return, but she and her brothers hanging out. They all seem to be having a great time, as opposed to when my siblings used to hang out…. a grate time.
But I will have to celebrate all this joy in my dreams because I am just too old and tired to go any further. No worries though…..tomorrow is just Thanksgiving, and we are scheduled ALL DAY in addition to a lot more packing to do. I suppose I can rest sometime in 2011.
Anyway, it is off to bed for me. Oh who am I kidding??? I typed this from bed.
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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Weird things…….

Some things just feel weird. Like today, the phone was connected in the new house. Yep, weird……I will be getting a new phone number after all these years. And tomorrow, Stephanie comes home from college for Thanksgiving break. It also feels weird….my daughter coming home for a “visit.”

But what can I do? Life happens, and we are all around for the ride. In my younger years I suppose I would be quite a bit more philosophical about the changes in my life (those are just to, but there are many) but I find now that pondering about things often just puts you behind. So this is to say, I learn a new number and live with it. AND, I just ought to enjoy Stephanie being home before things like a husband and grandchildren enter the picture and I wonder how it ever happened.
I really do miss the wisdom of my grandpa who taught me to take in each day and enjoy it. I suppose I ought to remember that at this point in my life.
Unfortunately for me, my lack of memory is another one of those weird changes.
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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The countdown…..

If anyone has any use for a middle-aged, forgetful, husband with a good heart, let me know. I am available to move out of here until the move is done. Yes some things are easier as married couples when you do not do them together…..home improvement project are one, and moving is another.

Of sure, I both admit and warn couples I am going to be marrying of this very truth during premarital counseling, but alas, some do not listen. And of course, some like me in our premarital think we can just set that truth aside and figure it out on our own, as if it doesn’t apply. So I suppose it’s a good thing I no longer recommend or use “Billy Bank’s Online Premarital Made Easy” course. Sometimes you just have to do the hard work.
But we will survive all of it, of that I am certain. There’s just a lot of stress in moving. But a life without stress probably means we are no longer breathing, so I think I will just deal with the stress.
The move is coming and soon things will be back to normal. And after that, this will all be looked on as just a big adventure.
Personally, I cannot wait for that perspective!
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+
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The UN-Packer….

It’s funny how things often work out. I had originally intended to take the week off in order to move, and then yesterday my wife reminded me that Ben was not going to daycare this week…..meaning he would be hanging with me. So I am off, but Ben is now officially working for my moving crew.

That’s not a problem though, particularly since he was already a part. He totally stinks at putting things INTO a box, but he’s pretty darn good about taking things out. Unfortunately, we are supposed to be all about packing right now and not unpacking.
We are buying this home from some parishioners who are also good friends. Our closing is yet to be scheduled, but it hopefully will take place in this next week. They have been gracious enough to allow us to move a few of the loose things over that are too difficult for us to pack. We moved a lot of the garage stuff, workshop stuff, and tomorrow kitchen stuff. It sure makes it a lot less stressful.
What I can say is that I am looking forward to next Friday night, when all the stuff will be there and I will be typing this blog from our new home. I hope to God that the computer works at that point. I will miss this back porch, but in the end, it will be a blessing to us all.
Off to bed!
Goodnight my friends and God Bless!
Tommy+